Her birth day was a very joyful day, followed by 23 more days of great happiness for us, despite the hospital stays. Typically I spend this day quietly at home.
Today, in the midst of cake making, a call from the school. Karen's tummy hurts and she's not herself. Now, it's not unusual for Karen to have a tummy ache. In fact, the orphanage had her on Milk of Magnesia and antacid for tummy trouble. I quickly figured out while in Colombia that going to the bathroom takes care of the problem. Simple.
I suspected that this was the issue again, but decided that it shouldn't be the school's problem. As I backed out of my drive way I thought to myself that life was interfering with death. And, I think that is God's way.
I will never forget Meredith. She is in my heart. September 16th will always be a day of reflection. She may not be here, but that doesn't mean death has won. Jesus has ensured that and leaves me with the great hope and anticipation of seeing Meredith again. And, introducing her to her sister!
I'm not sure how Karen is understanding this day and our talk about Meredith. She talks about Mami and Papi crying but then she threw her arms into the air and said "YEA!" when I told her we were going to the cemetary. She enjoyed blowing the candles of our Meredith cake and certainly enjoyed eating it!
I arrived at school and talked with her teacher. Karen "is just not herself". She kept her head on the table and wouldn't eat her snack. Her teacher said she "stretched her out" but it didn't seem to be improving. The secretary expressed how sad it was to see Karen like that and lead me to the clinic where she was lying down.
We got home and I sent her into the bathroom. She came back out and ate her entire lunch. She said she was a little tired, but I found her playing in her room when I came out of the shower.
Yeah. Guess who went back to school!
My sweet friend ... Your words are beyond beautiful! Thank you for always sharing your heart openly. Your words are words of healing for so many. Your strength gives strength for so many. Thank you for being my wise friend! Happy birthday Meredith, I can't wait to kiss you sweet face some day!
ReplyDeleteWendy, you are traveling a road that so many of us have no idea about...we try, we imagine what it might be like, but we just don't have the experience to back up our thoughts or feelings...thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings and experience of loving and losing a child, and the only hope that carries you through: God is sovereign and you will see Meredith again.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are learning how to help Karen too...what a blessing for her to have a Mother who knows and cares about her every need...praying this leads her to the understanding of her Heavenly Fathers unmatched love and understanding too :)
We know that mourning doesn't come at prescribed or convenient dates and times, but during this 23 day stretch of time, you all weigh more heavily on my heart and mind. As the other friends have said, thank you for sharing with us.
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